Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Silent Cry : The Worst Kind of Cry
Those who know me well know for sure that I am an absolute cry baby. I cry like, all the time because of simple things. I'm always the one to cry at farewells, at anniversaries, while reading sad books, while watching movies that has touching heartfelt scenes in it.. Once I even cried watching an episode of Pokemon, when one of Ash's pokemon healed and returned to its habitat (Egi, remember when this happened? During our trip to Bandung.. hihihi)
As a cry baby, one thing I noticed is that I cry in 3 different ways.
1. Light cry, like when I watch movies and read books, or sometimes hear songs that touch me
2. Out loud/hysterical cry, this usually happens when I'm really upset, like when my driver made me late to come to the airport to set Farina off.
3. Silent Cry, this is when I cry silently without a sound, and just have tears falling down heavily from my eyes. This is the worst kind of cry, the kind of cry that makes me feel like there is a hole in my heart. The kind of cry where the cause is something so painful it makes you want to cry everytime something/someone reminds you of it.
The last time I cried silently was when my grandmother died. Didn't think that would happen again soon, but as always, God has His secrets...
And so last night I silently cried, without any sound, without saying any words to my husband who patiently held me and supported me throughout the whole time. Maybe that was what made me got up on my feet faster, as I usually reserve these silent cries for when I am all alone.
Thank you for the support, I knew I married you for a reason! (quoted from Monica's words to Chandler =P). Now I just need to convince myself that everything will be just fine, and I definitely need to be stronger, so traces of tears don't come back to my eyes everytime.
Tears, go away please. I've got plenty of work to do, and you're not exactly helping.
As a cry baby, one thing I noticed is that I cry in 3 different ways.
1. Light cry, like when I watch movies and read books, or sometimes hear songs that touch me
2. Out loud/hysterical cry, this usually happens when I'm really upset, like when my driver made me late to come to the airport to set Farina off.
3. Silent Cry, this is when I cry silently without a sound, and just have tears falling down heavily from my eyes. This is the worst kind of cry, the kind of cry that makes me feel like there is a hole in my heart. The kind of cry where the cause is something so painful it makes you want to cry everytime something/someone reminds you of it.
The last time I cried silently was when my grandmother died. Didn't think that would happen again soon, but as always, God has His secrets...
And so last night I silently cried, without any sound, without saying any words to my husband who patiently held me and supported me throughout the whole time. Maybe that was what made me got up on my feet faster, as I usually reserve these silent cries for when I am all alone.
Thank you for the support, I knew I married you for a reason! (quoted from Monica's words to Chandler =P). Now I just need to convince myself that everything will be just fine, and I definitely need to be stronger, so traces of tears don't come back to my eyes everytime.
Tears, go away please. I've got plenty of work to do, and you're not exactly helping.
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