Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Until We Meet Again, Ibu...
Today I bid farewell to one of the most important people in my life, my grandmother – Latifah Djahri, whom we all call “Ibu”. She passed away yesterday at the age of 75, because of the many illness she’s been suffering for the past few years.
Just now I remembered this conversation I had with Farina and Tanya not so long ago.. about what is it we fear the most. I answered, being lonely.. Tanya’s answer was, losing hope.. and Farina’s answer was, losing the people she loves. At that time, I got to think.. Which is worse? Being lonely? Or losing someone you love?
Today, I realize that both are equally painful.. as losing someone you love ultimately makes you feel lonely inside. Even with all the people around you.. it’s still not the same, for there is that part in your heart you know is missing, and impossible to replace.
I’m not going to go on and on about how sad I am, because apparently it will not make me feel any better. I thought I already dried all my tears, but I was wrong every time. I thought seeing her body being carried to the mosque was the last time I’d cry.. but when I see her being carried from the mosque to the burial ground, the tears came back. Even when I thought that would be the last time.. here I am crying again while writing about her.
So enough about my grief, I want to write about my grandmother. How she was, and how I remember her. Because a person as important as her should be written down in history, and this is the only place I know where to write (my) history.
Ibu was a great woman. I had never known any other figure who can keep a family united quite like she does. Her husband died more than more than 30 years ago, and she raised her 7 children by herself since then. I admire her strength in doing that, because I know not many people can do what she did.. Come on, raising 7 children alone when you’re not exactly an heiress like Paris Hilton? That’s a pretty tough task, I’d say..
Now all her children have grown up, have a family of their own, and are pretty much self sufficient. But none dare to contradict with anything she has to say, because of their respect for her. She earned that respect, not by forcing her children to, but because she has shown them that she is worth to be respected.
To her grandchildren she was the fairy god mother, because she always tell our parents to spoil us, and since none of them dare say no to her, we basically get what we want because of her. The latest case is my cousin getting a car as a reward for going to college even though his parents initially refuse the idea.. Lucky him, hahaha…
To her extended family, and even the surrounding neighbourhood, she was also considered a mother. She always took the time to pay attention on who needs to be helped, and when she didn’t have the capacity to help, she will pass it on to her children, reminding them that they need to do good, and not forgetting their roots even if they have become ‘somebody’.
I will never forget the content of the tausyiah that was given after Nimas’ funeral.. one is about how when people die they’re actually going home, to their Creator.. and one was about how we should become better people after being left by someone we love, by following the good example she had set when she was alive, so when we see her again, we can say, “ Thank You.. you have made me a better person.”
Ibu was an extraordinary woman. I hope that even when she’s gone, her good deeds will still be continued by her family, and all the good examples she had set will still be followed. I know I will try to do so.
So long Ibu.. have a safe journey home. Rest in peace in your final resting place, until it is time for all of us to meet you again in heaven, Amin..
Just now I remembered this conversation I had with Farina and Tanya not so long ago.. about what is it we fear the most. I answered, being lonely.. Tanya’s answer was, losing hope.. and Farina’s answer was, losing the people she loves. At that time, I got to think.. Which is worse? Being lonely? Or losing someone you love?
Today, I realize that both are equally painful.. as losing someone you love ultimately makes you feel lonely inside. Even with all the people around you.. it’s still not the same, for there is that part in your heart you know is missing, and impossible to replace.
I’m not going to go on and on about how sad I am, because apparently it will not make me feel any better. I thought I already dried all my tears, but I was wrong every time. I thought seeing her body being carried to the mosque was the last time I’d cry.. but when I see her being carried from the mosque to the burial ground, the tears came back. Even when I thought that would be the last time.. here I am crying again while writing about her.
So enough about my grief, I want to write about my grandmother. How she was, and how I remember her. Because a person as important as her should be written down in history, and this is the only place I know where to write (my) history.
Ibu was a great woman. I had never known any other figure who can keep a family united quite like she does. Her husband died more than more than 30 years ago, and she raised her 7 children by herself since then. I admire her strength in doing that, because I know not many people can do what she did.. Come on, raising 7 children alone when you’re not exactly an heiress like Paris Hilton? That’s a pretty tough task, I’d say..
Now all her children have grown up, have a family of their own, and are pretty much self sufficient. But none dare to contradict with anything she has to say, because of their respect for her. She earned that respect, not by forcing her children to, but because she has shown them that she is worth to be respected.
To her grandchildren she was the fairy god mother, because she always tell our parents to spoil us, and since none of them dare say no to her, we basically get what we want because of her. The latest case is my cousin getting a car as a reward for going to college even though his parents initially refuse the idea.. Lucky him, hahaha…
To her extended family, and even the surrounding neighbourhood, she was also considered a mother. She always took the time to pay attention on who needs to be helped, and when she didn’t have the capacity to help, she will pass it on to her children, reminding them that they need to do good, and not forgetting their roots even if they have become ‘somebody’.
I will never forget the content of the tausyiah that was given after Nimas’ funeral.. one is about how when people die they’re actually going home, to their Creator.. and one was about how we should become better people after being left by someone we love, by following the good example she had set when she was alive, so when we see her again, we can say, “ Thank You.. you have made me a better person.”
Ibu was an extraordinary woman. I hope that even when she’s gone, her good deeds will still be continued by her family, and all the good examples she had set will still be followed. I know I will try to do so.
So long Ibu.. have a safe journey home. Rest in peace in your final resting place, until it is time for all of us to meet you again in heaven, Amin..
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